Marriage Minute – November 2023 – Words of Affirmation

Adrian Marsh

Words of affirmation and affirming behaviors

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us this regarding the affirmation of others: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” So, The next time you’re headed home from work, try to prepare your heart to interact with your spouse in more positive ways by doing some of the following…

• Slow down 

• Clear out the negative thoughts

• Think about positive things

• Thank God for your spouse

• Plan one way to show your love when you get home

• Consider what your partner needs most from you

• Recall joyful memories of your spouse

• Practice providing compliments

• Pray for your attitude to be Christlike

• Relax together 

Other ways to affirm your spouse:

  • Use meaningful phrases to convey your love and admiration. Sincerity is the secret ingredient that gives words of affirmation their transformative power in a relationship.
  • Be specific with your compliments. Replace overused phrases with something more heartfelt. If you can say it to any other man or woman out there, dig a little deeper.
  • When you think of something good or positive, say it out loud. This is a skill, which means it takes practice. Train yourself to say kind thoughts out loud, and eventually, it will become a natural impulse.
  • Actively listen to the things your partner tells you. Properly affirming someone with your words takes a thorough understanding of what they are going through and what they truly need. Your words won’t be hollow if you are actively listening and trying to understand the thoughts and feelings of your partner.
  • Decide on a time every day that you will lift your spouse with words of affirmation.

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